What's Left Unsaid
by CaramellDansen
Summary: Poor Riku has been abused and neglected; he's the only positive role model for his youngest brother, who has an obsession with an older man. When Riku tells Sora how he feels, how will he deal with the dysfunction in his family along with Sora's reaction?
1. Chapter 1

What's Left Unsaid

Chapter 1-Girlfriends and Secrets

After a hiatus lasting God knows how long, I finally decided to rewrite this piece of shit. It had so much potential, but was just plain old bad writing. Hopefully the renovations help a bit with that. Please let me know what you think. Also, the story line has changed quite a bit, so I would recommend re-reading everything before moving on to chapter 8 - otherwise nothing will make sense.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or Advent Children. I wish I did.

On with the show...

* * *

Riku sat in the corner of his room, praying the man he once called his 'father' wouldn't find him, as he saw him patiently pace across the hall to his brothers room. At the thought of the man hurting Demyx in ways he knew he was capable of, he cringed, accidentally making a small sound.

Riku swore the man was super sonic, the way he turned his head ever so slightly as if anyone in the house could have heard the noise. Riku scurried farther into the corner as the man walked closer, trying to spot him. The boy thought if he could just fuse with the wall, then the man couldn't take him away to the place he did when he was younger.

The man he once called father suddenly and swiftly grabbed the top of Riku's hair and stared him in the eyes. No words were needed to almost bring the teen to tears. The man dragged him off to the front yard, where he taped his mouth shut and hog-tied him. He shoved him in the back seat, and threw a blanket over Riku. The man started the car, and began driving. Riku knew where it was he was going. He knew where Sephiroth was taking him.

A few months prior:

Riku growled at his homework as he was hanging out with his best friend Sora, doing homework in his room. Sora also happened to be his main love interest. He hadn't really thought about it, nor did he care, but Riku was probably gay, or at least bisexual. He'd been with a few girls in his 17 years of life, but never particularly enjoyed anything save the physical or sexual aspect of the relationship. Riku was pretty much apathetic towards his sexuality. Sora however, was a whole different story. In fact, he loved the boy so much it physically hurt.

Riku looked over at the chestnut haired teen, sitting on his bed. He'd tried so many times to just tell the brunette he was in love with him, but he got too nervous and backed out each time. It wasn't like he would fall off the face of the earth if Sora didn't love him back. Sure it would feel that way, but it wasn't a reality.

"Hey Sora..." Riku said, a look of seriousness coming over him. He was doing it again - trying to have a serious conversation with the bubbly teen.

"What is it, Riku?" Sora asked, tilting his head to the side, as he got up to sit by his friend.

"...Sora," Riku began, looking deep into the innocent, cerulean eyes, "You're a good friend," He hugged Sora around the waist. Again, he'd decided against being explicitly honest, but he needed to say something. If he'd said 'Oh, nothing' then, Sora would have pushed until he got something out of Riku.

"Thanks, Riku. I think you're a good friend too," Sora hugged him back. He never suspected Riku to be so deeply in love with him, since he was such an affectionate person. Even with his newer friends, or Roxas' friends, Sora loved hugging and cuddling. Heck, he'd hug strangers if he could - but that was just another thing Riku loved about him. He was so loving to everybody, and never judgmental. That was something Riku appreciated immensely when he told Sora what his father did to him.

He was sure that if he told Sora he'd been raped by his own father, that Sora would never look at him the same way. But it had been almost a year, and Sora was still talking to him. He still hugged him, and cuddled with him. It was very encouraging to know that Sora still loved him.

He looked down at Sora, who looked up at him, still hugging tight, his eyes full of friendly love and understanding. Riku didn't want to give that up. How could he? Riku nuzzled into Sora's neck, trying to hold back tears. 10 years ago was so long ago, but still so vivid. He remembered every detail about the first incident, and often relived it in nightmares. However therapy, and modern medicine helped with that.

"Riku? Are you okay? You're shaking!" Sora said, feeling Riku's forehead, for a fever - despite what he knew Riku was thinking about.

"I'm fine... Just... yeah, I'm fine" Riku shook his head and scooted away from Sora. He picked up his notebook and pencil, trying to resume his studies, though he couldn't seem to do anything past staring at the notes in front of him.

Sora gave a disapproved frown as Riku scooted from him. He always hated ending conversations like that, but he knew if he pushed it, it would just drive Riku away from him. Sure when Riku had first told him he was surprised, and always wanted to talk about it - not to make Riku more upset, but to encourage him. Though, over the past year, Sora had learned a little bit about discretion and tact; primarily that pushing it, even with positive encouragement, wasn't always what was best. An important lesson to learn, especially as a teenager.

Sora knew he needed to change the subject, but that didn't make it easy to watch his best fried look so sad. "I love you, Riku." he said very seriously.

It was times like these that made Riku hate the English language. Those words pierced Riku like daggers, and it was hard not to imagine Sora saying them and mean it as a romantic love. "Dude, don't be a fag," Riku joked, shrugging Sora's hands from his shoulders.

Sora looked him in the eyes, and saw that he wasn't fine, but it was time to drop it. "Whatever, you're the one who hugged me..." Sora blushed wishing Riku would say 'I love you too' even just once. They were best friends after all, and he was pretty sure they shared everything. He knew Riku loved and appreciated him - he just liked to hear it confirmed out loud. Not ever waking moment of the day, but it was nice every once in a while.

But Riku never repeated the sentiment, because he was paranoid. He was always scared that if he said it once, he wouldn't be able to stop, and then Sora would be able to realize what he really meant. Riku didn't want to risk it.

"You okay Sora?" Riku asked chuckling softly to get the sad thoughts from his mind.

"Let's listen to music!" Sora exclaimed, trying to change the subject. Riku nodded and smiled as he reached up on his bedside table to turn the radio on.

"I'm not gay..." Sora said, blushing a little bit, "I'm going out with Kairi!" He informed very proudly. God knows how such a passive teen could have such a dominant girlfriend, but hell, maybe they were into that. That however, was not what Riku wanted to think about.

"Good for you, man...." Riku replied cooly, not knowing what else to say. He got up to go to the bathroom.

"Where you goin'?" Sora asked as he flipped through the radio stations.

"Gotta go take a piss," Riku left and dashed a little too quickly to the bathroom. He stood in the corner by the door, facing the mirror and fought back tears. He always stood in the corner when he was upset, not because he was emo - but rather so he could see the whole room. He felt safer that way. Even his bet was positioned against the wall so he could see out his door and a bit into the hallway when he was lying down. It wasn't that he was scared - he just felt less anxious that way.

Riku thought hard. This new information was rather disconcerting. He wanted to be happy for Sora - he honestly did - but he really wanted to be sad for himself too. He didn't know which to choose, and he wanted to feel both, but when he tried, it just made him feel weird and mixed up.

Choosing to ignore it for the time being, Riku flushed the toilet, and splashed some water on his face. He breathed heavily, and wiped his face on a fluffy towel, waiting for a moment as he enjoyed the warm feeling he got from this action.

"About you and Kairi... I'm happy for you, Sora," Riku said, kicking his friend playfully before sitting down.

"Eh, don't be. She's dumb," Sora laughed. "It's not like we're serious or anything."

"What, she won't put out?" Riku joked. He'd had a fling with her the year before, and they'd slept together. It wasn't Riku's first time, and he was sure it wasn't Kairi's, but he couldn't help but hate the idea of Sora doing it with the bubbly red head.

"Well that, and I don't want it!" Sora mocked a disgusted face.

"But she's hot, man! Her tits are huge! Are you turning into a fag or something?"

"Meh.." Sora said, finishing up his homework and shoving his things into his bag, "I'm not gay just because I don't think she's anything special!"

Riku breathed a sigh of relief, putting his work away as well, "Dude, sorry to break it to you man, but waiting for someone special is a little bit... Well, faggish."

"Hey! You're special to me, and I wouldn't sleep with you!" Sora defended, pouting on the floor.

His words stung but comforted Riku at the same time, which also made him feel mixed up. "Why not? I'd sleep with you," Riku gave Sora a playful nudge, accompanied by a seductive wink.

Unfortunately, Sora understood that Riku was just like that, and flirted with everyone, regardless of gender, "Whatever, Riku," Sora smiled and blushed a little, betraying his seriousness about the issue at hand.

Riku yawned, "Want any food?" He asked, rubbing his stomach.

Sora's eyes lit up instantly, and he nodded furiously. Seeing him be so adorable made Riku's heart melt, as he lead the boy to the kitchen. He cut Sora a piece of chocolate cake, one with extra frosting, and a smaller one for himself. He scraped the frosting off his cake and put it on Sora's plate, as he knew exactly how Sora liked his cake. With twice the frosting, of course.

Riku smiled, at Sora's blue eyes, large as dinner plates, and glistening with excitement, as he watched Riku fix his cake. It was beyond Riku how Sora could stay so cute and little, but eat his weight in junk food. Regardless, he watched the teen scarf the cake, then lean back in his chair, patting his belly satisfactorily.

"Thanks, Riku!" Sora smiled, as a loud burp escaped his lips, causing him to blush lightly.

"No problem, hon," Riku smiled, and took their plates to the sink.

Sora sighed in pure bliss, and mumbled, "I should go before I fall asleep..." Riku inwardly groaned, and muttered and 'okay' before walking him to the door.

"Bye bye Riku!" Sora hugged his friend at the door.

"Bye, Sora," Riku replied fondly, squeezing his crush. Sora picked up his back pack and walked down the path to the side walk. He watched in amazement at Sora's hips, lightly swaying side to side, his clothes a bit tight, showing his feminine figure underneath them. Oh, Sora... Riku thought, leaning against the door frame, and sighing dejectedly.

At that moment, his older brother Kadaj, drove spastically up the road, and threw a lamp shade out the window. Sora jumped in surprise, at the flying object coming towards him.

Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, were Riku's older brothers, and they loved to party(to say the least). They always stayed out at night and got drunk or high, and came home when Riku was leaving for school. They were in their early 20's, but lived with their mother since they'd gotten kicked out of any place they tried to live in. They only worked part time jobs to pay for their partying expenses, and when they were gambling, his mother had to help them get out of debt. In Riku's opinion, they didn't count as older brothers, and they should get kicked out of this place too.

Loz, the youngest of the triplets, stumbled out of the crookedly parked party van, with a sexy girl on his back. "Hey, Mom?? Is Riku at work here?" He shouted. Riku was used to them coming home drunk, but was surprised they were this early tonight. "I have the coke!" the girl shouted, holding up a bag of drugs.

"Yeah, mom's out," Riku replied, looking for Sora in vain, as he'd run off after the lamp shade incident. Riku looked at the whore on Loz's back. She smelled like drugs and too much cheap perfume. Riku groaned and let them in, before going to pout in a room that wasn't next to Loz's. What else could he do?

The triplets often came home in the stage between buzzed and falling all over themselves. The kind of drunk where if they get in a fight, the see their own blood and laugh because they can't feel anything. Riku had gotten in fights with them before, trying to keep them out, and it always ended the same; with Riku's face bleeding on the front lawn.

* * *

"They're so annoying!" Riku groaned. They were more than annoying, but he couldn't think of any other words at the moment.

"Yeah, but cause of them we get to do whatever we want," Demyx tried to explain, hoping it would help his brother. "Mom thinks we're angels."

"You don't share a wall with them," Riku complained.

Demyx giggled, knowing how loud the girls Loz brought home were, "You can sleep here, but I don't think it'll make much of a difference," he offered his older brother.

"Thanks," Riku left to go get a pillow and blanket. He heard moaning and shouting, and didn't need to know more, so he quickened his pace, and almost ran back to Demyx's room.

Riku sat on the foot of Demyx's bed. "So does Demmy have a girlfriend yet?" He asked, trying to start a conversation. It was hard trying to relate to a younger brother, and even harder to one that was always happy.

"Riku, you and I both know all 5 of us are gay," Demyx smiled, "Loz is just in denial"

"Boyfriend then?" Riku asked. Though, it was still beyond him how a 15 year old could be so self aware. Two years ago, Riku was so gender confused that he didn't even know what he wanted to think of when he was jacking off.

Demyx looked up at Riku from his comic, without moving his head. He gave Riku a slight smile, but said no anyways.

"Oh, come on, I know that look!" Riku smirked, kicking him playfully.

"You wouldn't approve," Demyx gave a broken smile, looking away from his most trusted brother.

"I wouldn't?" Riku snickered, "I like boys too, Dem..."

"He's 24..." Demyx explained.

At seeing the look that meant 'I'm about to cry', Riku crawled over to his brother and put an arm around him, hugging his brother lovingly, "We both know that doesn't change anything," Riku stroked Demyx's hair. Sure it was against the law, and there were rules against that sort of thing for a reason, but Riku liked to think that true love didn't care about age or gender. The younger boy tried to choke back tears, having still not even come out yet, "You can't help who you love..." Demyx looked up at him and hugged him back, "What's his name?"

"Xigbar," Demyx smiled a knowing smile, at saying the man's name.

"So how far have you gone?" Riku asked eagerly, chuckling a little. Nothing could cheer Riku, or Demyx for that matter, up more than acting like middle school girls and talking about boys.

"Riku!" he laughed, punching Riku in the arm playfully, refusing to tell him.

* * *

There you have it. The new and improved first chapter. If you've been loyal to me from the beginning, let me know if it's better than before and what you think I should work on. If you're a new reader, let me know what you think anyways! I love comments of all nature.


	2. Chapter 2

What's Left Unsaid

Chapter 2- Bad Drugs and Bad Dreams

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or Advent Children. I also don't own the song 'Radio'. It's by Alkaline Trio, and it belongs to them.

This chapter's a bit longer. Hope you enjoy the changes I made, and what I left in. Just so you know, the numbers are footnotes. More on those at the end of the chapter.

On with the show...

* * *

Riku fell back on the bed, holding the boy's waist possessively. He kissed him passionately, as he had so many times before. Pulling his own shirt off, he let the younger of the two stare at his perfect chest. He grabbed the boy's hands and placed them on his own chest. Riku kissed his neck and removed the younger ones clothes.

"Riku..." The boy moaned, bushing slightly, as Riku stroked the boy's member.

"Sora..." Riku moaned, touching Sora as he'd longed to for what seemed like for ever.

"I want you, Riku," Sora begged, almost pouting that he wasn't getting pounded at that very second.

"How do you want it?" Riku whispered, licking the boy's ear.

"I want it hard, baby," Sora tried a seductive tone, but could only gasp at the contact, and subconsciously buck his hips up, grinding against Riku's own hardened length.

"Ah, Sora..." Riku moaned at their cocks touching, pushing against him harder, trying to feel as much of the boy as possible.

"Riku... I need..." Sora moaned, desperately. Riku smirked and positioned his cock at Sora's entrance, per request. Riku placed his hand on Sora's hips, holding him on the bed, and...

* * *

"Riku!" The Cid shouted, slamming a book on said teen's desk.

Riku shot up, and looked confused for a split second, before looking at Cid as if he'd been paying attention the whole time. "What?!" Riku shouted, hoping his didn't moan Sora's name out loud.

"What the hell ya doin' sleepin' in my class?" Cid growled, "Does chemistry bore you?"

"Absolutely not. It's the most interesting subject in the world. I read the text book for fun," Riku said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yeah? What's the ninth element in the table of elements, wise ass?" Cid crossed his arms over his chest.

"Meh.." Riku groaned, trying to push the sleep (and would-be wet dream) from his mind, "Ethenol?" He guessed. 1

"Are you trying to be stupid?" Cid snorted.

Figuring his answer was wrong, Riku smirked and simply said, "Yes,"

Suddenly the bell rang, and Riku was free. He jumped up and grabbed his bag. If he was quick he could catch Sora in the hall from English.

He had only memorized his schedule the first month of school because...

Riku wasn't obsessed.

Okay well maybe a little. But only a little.

Enough of that. Sora and Kairi were walking down the hall together, holding hands. Riku hid in the crowd of his over populated school, behind a few kids and stuck his leg out. Kairi tripped over the foot, and fell on her face.

She was however, still holding onto Sora's hand, and pulled him on top of her. Sora looked at the awkward position and they both laughed, hugging each other gently. Riku's snicker turned into a scowl, as he continued down the hall, unnoticed by either of them.

Riku was NOT trying to sabotage their relationship.

Just make Kairi look like a fool.

It wasn't working so far.

During lunch Riku saw Kairi had gotten spaghetti. This was too good. He put the hood of his sweat shirt up so Sora wouldn't see him, and he walked past her, pushing her head into the food, before running off to watch from a distance. Kairi frowned, picking her head up. Sora giggled lightly and shoved his face in his own spaghetti. He leaned up and kissed her on the lips, sharing in her spaghetti covered humiliation.

Things were getting worse.

Riku frowned. He had to think of something else.

'Goose Me' said the sign Riku places on Kairi's back. Guys and girls alike, grabbed Kairi's quite nearly non existent ass as she walked down the halls. When Sora put his arm around the girl's shoulders he felt the paper. he took it off her and read it. Smiling, he grabbed her too. and they ended up in a corner... 'sucking face' as Riku put it.

Maybe he should wait until tomorrow to try something else. Riku flopped down on his bed wanting to cry. But he didn't. He couldn't. He wanted to be happy for Sora. [i]God, Riku, you're such a freak... I love my best friend... He was right...[/i]

Tears stung Riku's eyes, and he wanted to curl in a hole and forget about the world. The kind of 'forget about the world' that was killing yourself. Of course, Riku knew that suicide was never the answer. 2 Maybe he could build a cottage, far away in the woods, and live there. He could find a nice spot by a river or lake, and be a hermit for the rest of his life. At that moment his cell phone rang.

"Dammit..." Riku sniffled and answered like nothing was wrong, "Hello?"

"Hey, Riku!" Said a certain perky teen.

"Hey Sora, what's up?" Riku smiled into the phone. Why the hell did fate always tempt him like this?

"Eh, nothing really," Sora sighed on the other line.

"You sound sad, dude," Riku noticed.

"I'm just a little worried about you... You seemed kinda... I dunno, out of it today,"

Riku paused. He needed to tell Sora. No, he wanted to, he didn't need to. The conversation continued about nothing, and Riku rolled over to turn some music on.

Shakin' like a dog shittin' razor blades

Waking up next to nothing, after dreaming

Of you and me,

I'm waking up all alone, waking up...

Riku turned the music off. 3

"You okay, Riku?" Sora said, noticing the other teen's silence.

"Can I come over?" Riku asked, putting his shoes on, as he knew Sora would say yes as usual.

"Uh, actually, I'm going to Kairi's in a bit..."

Riku sighed, "Oh, okay, never mind then..."

"Sorry..."

"Don't worry about it... I should probably go," Riku sat back down on his bed.

"Okay, bye bye!"

"Bye," Riku hung up the phone, and laid back on his bed. Riku thought of Sora, holding Kairi, and them laying on her bed... And kissing... Taking each other's clothes off... Then Sora pulling out a switch blade and gutting her, hanging her stomach lining on her stuffed animals over he room, and bathing in her blood. 4

It was unnecessary, and uncalled for, but it made him feel better. Riku stood up and unconsciously wiped a tear from his face. He walked down the stairs, passing his brother and an older man in the living room... Wait a minute... Older man?

"Who's this?" Riku asked, walking behind the two cuddling males.

"Uh..." Demyx turned around and jumped away a little from the stranger.

"You said no one was home," the man stood up and began to leave the room.

"Chill, dude, I just wanna know who you are," Riku stood in front of the door, knowing full well who it was.

"Xigbar, he's okay, he won't say anything," Demyx said, jumping up to the man, and hugging him around the waist.

"Yeah, don't worry, man, no one's here but us," Riku explained, "I'll leave you guys alone."

"I should go, little man..." Xigbar said turning around in Demyx's embrace.

"Please don't go, Xiggy!" Demyx latched himself to Xigbar.

Riku walked into the kitchen, still listening to them. Demyx was his little brother, it wasn't bad to snoop; he had an obligation to look out for his little brother. And besides eavesdropping was Riku's favorite sport.

"Dem, I shouldn't be here," Xigbar sighed, as he put his arms around the boy.

"Xigbar, please stay, it's just us and Riku," Demyx pleaded, "He won't tell anyone!"

"Dude, it's still not legal..."

"I don't care! I want to be with you!" Demyx began to cry, "Please, Xigbar!"

"Baby, you talk like I'm breaking up with you... Of course I want to be with you too," Xigbar wiped Demyx's face.

"Xigbar..." Demyx sighed, "Kiss me."

"Dem..."

"You haven't kissed me since you picked me up from school last week!" Demyx exclaimed, practically stomping his foot.

Riku peaked around the corner, to see Xigbar kiss Demyx passionately.

"I'll stay just a little longer..." Xigbar caved and sat back down on the couch, pulling Demyx onto his lap.

Riku grabbed his glass of water and went back to his room. "Baby brother can find love..." He lamented, trying his best not to get emotional. He could hear them downstairs still whispering words of love to each other. Feeling utterly alone and trying not to do the emo thing, he searched the triplet's room for drugs rather than killing himself.

He hated needles but heroin was all he could find. In all honesty, he hated smoke too, and snorting just grossed him out. So he took a new syringe and a bottle of the drugs, and brought it to his room. Riku took his belt off and used it as a tourniquet.

He held the belt tight with his teeth, and flexed his arm, arousing the veins there. He pulled out some of the drug and tapped the side, causing the air bubbles to rise to the top, and squeezed them out. Riku picked a vein in his fore arm and shot up the drug.

He felt the pain in his heart dissipate, and begin to feel happy for the first time in a long while, as the opiates took over his system. The last thing Riku could remember was his cell ringing and he answered it.

"Hey, hey, Soraaaa," Riku said, loopily.

"Riku do you still want to come over? Kairi canceled on me."

"Nah! You have to gut her, you crazy necrophiliac. Heheee, That's a funny word!" Riku fell over laughing.

"Riku, you sound weird, do you want me to come over there??"

"Nooo, Sooraaaaa!" Riku slurred, falling over on his bed.

"Riku, just hold on, I'll be there in a few minutes!" With that, Sora was off the phone and on his way. Riku stared at his ceiling, and noticed how it looked so like popcorn. [i]Why isn't the bowl of popcorn falling on me? Ooooh! I'm on the ceiling... That makes sense! [/i]Riku laughed at his own thoughts and fell into a half sleeping state.

"Demyx, where's Riku?" Sora shouted, pounding on the front door.

"Dem, you said no one would be home for a while!" Xigbar exclaimed, jumping up from the comfortable position he was in with Demyx.

"Oh, it's just Sora! Don't worry, he's okay," Demyx said, his voice a little shaky, betraying his confidence. He ran over to the door and opened it, "Riku's in his room..."

"Okay, thanks," Sora shouted, running up the stairs, not even noticing Xigbar.

"Riku, Riku, are you okay?" Sora swung the door open, seeing Riku laying on his bed, laughing at nothing but the pattern of his ceiling.

"Oooh, Heeeyy, Soraa!" Riku slurred his words sounding almost as if his mouth was filled with water.

"Riku, are you..." Sora began, looking over at the syringe on the floor, "Riku how could you!"

"Ooh, don't be mad, baby!" Riku mumbled, standing up and wobbling over to Sora, "I saved some for you, too!" He took Sora in his arms and kissed his cheek. This was something he'd never done before and Sora began to blush like mad.

"Riku... I... I should go..." Sora whispered, secretly liking the feeling of being held by Riku. He would have enjoyed it too, if he hadn't been so worried and scared.

"Don't go my love!" Riku shouted, crushing Sora in a tight embrace, his whole body shaking from the drug.

"Riku, you're high... Don't say things like that!" Sora pouted, shoving him away.

Riku looked up at Sora and frowned, "How could you not know..." He whispered before blacking out.

* * *

Riku woke up in a hospital bed, with Sora sitting by him. He ached all over, and he felt extremely cold, but still sweat profusely. "Wh... Where am I?" He asked weakly, looking around the room.

"You're in a hospital, Riku," Sora sighed, leaning forward in his chair, "They had to give you an opi... opiod..." Sora sighed, not quite sure what the doctors gave Riku, and if he did, he couldn't say it. "...Because you over dosed on Heroin..." Sora grabbed Riku's hand and stroked it gently, "I thought you were gonna die..."

Riku looked away from Sora, and pulled his hand back to his chest, "Did I say... anything weird?" He asked, faintly remembering telling Sora he was in love.

"You called me you're love..." Sora whispered, also looking away.

"It... was probably just the drugs talking..." Riku whispered, trying his best to keep from crying.

"So... when you kissed my cheek..."

"I wasn't myself," Riku sighed, "You know I'm straight. Don't tell me you're gonna turn into a fag just cause I kissed you when I was high," Riku joked, trying to conceal his feelings.

"Riku, I..." Sora sighed, looking back at him, "I was just worried about you, that's all..."

"I'm fine... You should get back to Kairi, she's probably wanting to know where you are..."

"Dude, bros before hoes man!" Sora joked, smiling at Riku. After a moment, Sora became more serious again. "Was it because of your dad?" he asked softly, as if afraid to ask.

"Sora..." Riku laughed lightly, watching his friend, before looking down, in shame. He always felt ashamed of himself when they talked about his dad.

"How could I not know what?" Sora asked, getting up and sitting on the bed beside his best friend.

"What?" Riku questioned, faintly remembering that.

"Before you... You asked me how could I not know... What did you mean?" Sora stroked Riku's damp hair. "How could I not know that he's still hurting you?"

"No, I haven't seen him..." Riku sighed, and placed a hand on Sora's cheek,

Sora sighed in relief, and placed his arm around Riku's shoulders, "Then what is it?"

"I..." Riku looked away, ashamed even more. "I-... L-love you..."He pulled him down gently, their lips only centimeters apart. Riku could feel Sora's breath on his face, as he gently pushed his lips to Sora's, so he knew exactly how he loved him. He gave the boy a chance to pull away if he wanted to, and he did.

"Riku, I..." Sora stood up, a little scared. They'd always joked about calling each other 'fag' and Riku never mentioned that he was one!

"Sorry, Sora..." Riku apologized, looking away. At least now he knew how Sora would react, and that his best friend hated him now.

"Kairi will be wondering where I've been all night..." Sora turned around and left, passing Demyx at the door.

Demyx smiled and sat on Riku's bed, "Riku, I didn't know you were going out with Sora!" He exclaimed, punching Riku's arm playfully, "You guys are such a good couple!"

"He's with Kairi..." Riku explained, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Oh... Riku, don't worry, there are plenty of hot guys who'd die to be with you!" Demyx joked, trying to lighten the mood, as he put an arm around his favorite brother.

"I don't want anyone else..." Riku sighed, resting his head on his leg.

"Now, Riku, that's just being picky!"

"What if Xigbar had a girlfriend?" Riku shouted, "What if you had to see him every day with a girl, shoving it in your face that you couldn't be with him!" Demyx sighed, and hugged Riku, rubbing his back gently. Riku let a few tears trail down his face before sucking it up.

"Sorry..." He whispered, wiping his face, "Heh, pull it together, Riku!" he mumbled to himself.

"OH, MY RIKU!" His mother shouted, running into the room, showering he son with hugs and kisses.

Riku put on the adorable son face, and said, "I'm sorry... You're not mad at me, are you mommy?"5

"Oh, my poor baby! Of course I'm not mad at you!" May shouted, "It's your older brothers I'm mad at," she said, "Don't you worry, they won't be around any more! They're going to jail for God knows what, but you're safe now, baby!"

Riku smiled and had to appreciate his mother. She sent her first three son's to jail to protect the rest of her family. As if the woman hadn't already been through enough with her husband, and the British bastard that got her pregnant with Demyx, and then wouldn't speak to her, or the younger boy. May had always supported herself and her sons. It was contrary to most teenagers' beliefs, but Riku really loved and admired his mother. She was a strong woman - Riku didn't even think he was that strong.

Riku kissed his mother, and gave her a hug, before laying down and going to sleep.

[i]5 small boys sat in a corner of a living room and played with action figures. Their parent's argued in the other room, shouting for all the world to hear. Suddenly the father stormed up to them and grabbed the 2 youngest ones. He dragged them to his car and shoved them in the back seat.

Their mother didn't leave the kitchen for a while, not even noticing they were gone.

The two boys hugged each other in fear and were soon brought to an old ware house. They were put in a small room and left there over night.

"Riku when are we going to get out of here?" Asked the younger one.

"I don't know Demmy," Riku whispered, "Be quiet. If we're bad he might not let us go..."

"Okay," The boy whispered, and rested his head on his brother's shoulder.

WARNING: The following scene will contain explicit abuse. If you don't feel comfortable reading it, scroll down to the next section. Sorry for the spoiler in the middle of the chapter, but it's necessary.

Later that night, the man came in and ripped the boys' clothes off. They were both crying with confusion at why in the world their father was taking their clothes off. He hit the smaller one, smacking him to the floor, causing the kid to cry harder.

"Shut up," He simply said. Riku ran up and began hitting him, much like a child would. The man slapped him in the face, and he fell to the floor.

The man unfastened his trousers and grabbed the older kid by the wrist and yanked him to his body. He felt the boy's body, running his hands all over him, and kissing his chest. The smell of alcohol was thick on his breath as he violated Riku.

"S-stop it!" Riku shouted, trying desperately to get away from the man's death grip. His dad was just hugging and kissing him, but he could tell this wasn't right... Something was about to happen, and it wasn't good... "Stop it, daddy! I don't like this!"

"Be quiet and I'll leave your brother alone," the man said. Riku hesitantly nodded and wiped the tears from his face.

"No!" Demyx yelled. A five year old couldn't be expected to understand the concept of rape, but he knew that his father was about to hurt Riku, "Don't hurt him!" He shouted, hitting the man.

"Shut up, Demmy," Riku cried, "Stop it or he'll hurt you too!"

The man pinned Riku against the wall and entered his body, forcing himself into the boy, despite his cries of pain, and pleads to stop, "I said quiet," He said, pulling Riku back, and slamming him against the wall as he went all the way in.

Riku sobbed, and tried to not say anything, thinking of his brother the whole time. He sobbed loudly with each thrust, crying at the pain. It hurt so much! But he dared not say any words. What if his dad did this to Demmy too? Riku would never forgive himself.

"Stop it! You're hurting him!" Demyx shouted, tears streaming down his face as the man pounded into Riku. He didn't understand what was going on, or why his father was doing this, but it was scary.

When the man was finished, he pulled out of the little boy, and wiped his cock with the boy's shirt. A mix of blood and semen pouring out of Riku. The man fixed his trousers, and left the room, leaving the two boys to cry alone.

"I'm so sorry, Riku!" Demyx cried, cradling his older brother, who sobbed into his chest.

"Demyx..." He cried, his bottom still hurting, like the man was still inside him. He felt gross with the pinkish fluid dripping out of him, and he wanted to go home. He wanted to take a bath, and sleep with his mommy. "It hurts Demmy, I wanna go home!" he shouted as he sobbed on the boy's chest.

Demyx cried, and held his brother, letting him cry into his chest. He didn't understand what was going on, or what just happened, but he wanted his brother to feel better. He hated seeing the older boy that he admired so much like this. "It's okay, Riku," he tried to comfort the boy, though he was just as scared. "It'll be okay, Riku, he's gone now..."

* * *

Riku woke up, sweating, "Demyx, are you still here?" He asked, looking around the dark room.

"Yeah, I'm here brother," Demyx whispered, sitting on Riku's bed again.

"Where'd Xigbar go?" Riku asked, not seeing anyone else in the room. "Where's mom?"

"They went home," Demyx explained, "I'll see Xiggy again soon. Mom's cleaning out the triplet's room." There was a scilence before anyone spoke again.

"I had another dream about dad," Riku whispered, pulling the covers off, making room for Demyx.

"Me too..." Demyx climbed into the bed with his brother, and they held each other.

"I can still feel him inside me..." Riku cried, cuddling closer to his brother.

"I'm so sorry, brother," said the younger boy. Ten years later, and he still didn't know what to do or say to make Riku feel better. He often worried himself sick that it was his fault, and that he wasn't helping Riku at all by being there. In fact when they were kids, Demyx thought that Riku hated him. He still did at times, but he always kept it in. Riku had it harder than him, after all.

"He was right... How could anyone love me? I'm just a nobody," Riku cried. He was upset because of Sora, but all of that was what spurred his thinking about the past.

"Riku!" Demyx shouted, holding Riku's face, "You're not a nobody! You're my big brother, who saved me from what you had to suffer through! I love you so much, Riku! Where would I be without you?" Demyx kissed Riku's head and held him closer, as the older one sobbed.

"Thank you, Demyx," Riku said, before falling into a more peaceful sleep, comforted by his little brother.

* * *

Oh how sad!! Poor Riku-kun!! I don't do angst or rape very well, but I hope you enjoyed it. Again, let me know if you liked the renovations, or what you think. I love comments of any kind. I didn't do this in the first chapter because I didn't have anything to say, but here's the chapter 2 footnotes.

1- I swear I didn't mean to make Riku sound like an idiot, but lets just say it's the beginning of the school year, and Riku's not the smartest of boys...

2- Riku's right, kids. Suicide is never the answer! It's the ultimate way of telling Jesus that you want to do things your way and you don't need him. I believe people who commit suicide go to Hell. But I also believed people can still get saved in Hell. Cause you can't put my Jesus in a box. ANYWHO! Enough of my bible thumping! Don't kill yourselves!

3- I really was listening to this song and decided to put it in cause of his dream. It's called Radio by Alkaline Trio, and it's pretty good. You should all listen to it.

4- I know you die-hard SoRiku fans totally enjoyed that too. Especially you Chirssy, you twisted freak. X3

5-That's right, bitches. Riku calls his mother 'mommy'. It's okay, I do too, and I'm almost 18.

Quick note on the footnotes - yeah, I'm Christian and I love JC, and he loves me. I'm not ashamed of it or anything, but some people may feel it necessary to flame me based on my religion. If you do, then whatever. Footnotes are more of my opinion anyways. So flame me if you want. Jesus loves you.


	3. Chapter 3

What's Left Unsaid

Chapter 3- Playing the Saxophone With Your Eyes Closed

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or Advent Children or the book Blue Like Jazz

* * *

Riku laid on the hospital bed, with a small bucket in his arms. Heroin withdrawals are a bitch. Though, it wasn't the fatigue that made Riku feel like he wanted to die. Nor the continuous retching, and cold sweats. He couldn't shake the feeling of Sora leaving the room after their first kiss.

"Riku, you get to come home today!" Demyx shouted, bursting into the dark, peaceful room, letting in the annoying light, and being loud.

Riku mumbled something, sitting up woozily, "Uh, I don't feel so good..." He muttered before heaving into the bucket.

"Riku are you okay??" Demyx shouted. The poor kid didn't know when to be loud, and when to shut his mouth. Riku hated that about him, but what could he do? Demyx was only happy that he was coming home.

"As long as you shut up!" He sighed, spitting the rest of his stomach fluids into The Bucket. It was becoming his closest friend at this point. Sora probably wouldn't ever speak to him again. Perhaps the bucket could serve as a temporary replacement?

"Oh, don't be mad! I tricked the male nurse into upping your dose of painkillers!" Demyx took the bucked to go empty it.

"I love you forever, baby brother," Riku called weakly after him. He waited for Demyx to come back, before standing up, and letting him help him dress.

* * *

"What the hell!?" Riku shouted, straining himself as he nearly fell over in his room.

"Riku, the bottom line is that you took drugs and you no longer have the right to have your own room," His mother authoritatively said, "And Demyx's fixation on that man..." She sighed dejectedly. "You two are my last hope! Before too long, I'll be too old to have any more children. You boys have to make me proud, because God knows, I'm not getting any grandkids!"1

"Oh get over it," Riku shouted, "Like you're one to talk about what kind of person you fall in love with!" He slammed the door, and fell to the ground. He ralphed into his closest companion, The Bucket, and lie face down on the floor.

"Feeling okay, brother?" Demyx asked, standing from the bed new in the now shared room. He walked over, and touched Riku's shoulder, a little ashamed of himself. He did feel like it was his fault. With three bedrooms in the house, it was ridiculous to have the only two kids in one room.

"Fucking ninja!" Riku shouted, sitting up, "When the hell did you get here?"

"It's my room too now...." He sighed, "Mom won't let me see Xigbar..." He sat back on the bed, and covered his face with his hands.

Riku crawled over to his brother, and rested his head in his brothers knees, his The Bucket next to him on the floor, "I won't tell if you sneak out to see him," Riku smiled weakly. He was jealous, of course, but he wanted his brother to have what he couldn't. What if

"No... She'd be expecting that for the first few nights..." Demyx sighed, tears coming to his eyes, as he rested his head on Riku's, "I shouldn't have told her... I shouldn't have let her meet him..." Demyx began to cry, and Riku started to regret being his brothers proverbial shoulder.

"Lay off the mood swings baby brother," Riku said, though he was the one mood swinging. It was just weird to see Demyx so sad when he was usually so happy. Scooting away to sit against his own bed, Riku reached for The Bucket thinking he should give it a name. Demyx nodded and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He admired his brother so much, and would do practically anything Riku said.

Riku sighed, and heard a tapping at the window. "You there, dude?" they heard a voice and Demyx immediately perked up.

"It's Xigbar! He's here!" Demyx whispered to Riku, "Please don't say anything to mom..." he pleaded, tip toeing over to the window. Of course Riku wouldn't say anything. Xigbar perched on the branch of a tree next to the window, tapping lightly on it.

"Hey baby," Xigbar smiled, as Demyx opened the window, "Sorry about today, it was too much for me to be there..." He whispered.

"No, it's my fault, we should have kept it a secret..." Demyx sat on the edge of the window sill, grabbing Xigbar's hand, beckoning him to come in the room, but the man didn't move.

"Dude, I can't expect you to to do that..." Xigbar stroked Demyx's face, "You're just a kid... I know you love your family, and I can't ask you to keep me a secret from them or something..."

"No, I should have been stronger, and now we can't be together..." Demyx began to cry again, as he kept tugging at Xigbar's hand.

"Demyx..." Xigbar sighed, his hand retreating to his pocket, "This is too much for both of us. We need to stop this."

"What!" Demyx almost shouted, tears pouring down his face, "No! Xigbar, I need you!"

"You don't need me, Dem," Xigbar sighed, "We can get back together in three years when you're an adult, but I don't want you to have to break the law and betray your family."

"You make me sick," Riku interjected after retching into the Bucket he now called Pat.2

"The hell, man?" Xigbar looked over Demyx's shoulder to see Riku, a pale green color, sweating like a pig, with a bucket on the floor.

"Do you love my brother?" Riku asked angrily.

Xigbar sighed, "Love is an understatement," He admitted, smiling slightly at Demyx.

"Then why the hell would you let him go?" Riku wobbled over, so he didn't have to strain his voice, "If love is such an understatement you'd do anything just to see him. You'd break any law, take any life, give up anything! You don't love Demyx, you just want a piece of ass." Riku scowled.

"Riku, stop it!" Demyx cried, as he shoved his brother away. He didn't know what Riku was doing, and he was already confused enough

Xigbar chuckled lightly, "It's not that easy dude,"

"Yes it is!" Riku nearly yelled, walking back over to his corner next to his bed and the wall.

"Sorry about Riku..." Demyx whispered, "I-I guess this is goodbye then?"

"Just for now" Xigbar smiled reassuringly before jumping down from the tree, and landing gracefully on the lawn. He jogged over to a parked car, and drove off.

"How could you let that happen?" Riku asked his weeping brother, "If you love him so much how could you let him just leave?"

"How could you let Sora leave the hospital?" Demyx retorted, "If _you_ love _him_ so much, why'd you let_ him_ leave?"

"Demyx..." Riku sighed, spitting into his bucket.

"Sometimes the best advice to take is your own," Demyx sighed before closing the window, and changing into his pajamas.

"You had him..." Riku stood up weakly, "He was yours and you let him go," Riku demanded. He was doing it for Demyx's own good. He knew Demyx was in love, and it hurt him to see the boy like this. To see him let the only good thing in his life go.

Demyx wiped his face and grabbed a blanket, "I'll sleep on the couch tonight..." He said softly, "I don't want to get sick..."

They both knew that wasn't the reason Demyx didn't want to share a room that night though. Riku crawled in his bed, not bothering to do anything but strip his street clothes and empty Pat. He laid in bed and cried, feeling pathetic. Why did so much shit happen to him and Demyx? His mom was a good woman, and she knew best, but she just didn't understand Demyx and Xigbar's relationship.

Later that night, Riku woke up, throwing up into the bucket again. His mother walked into the room in her nightgown, and stroked Riku's hair as he chucked. She held his damp silver locks out of his face, and replaced his bucket, going to empty it, as mothers do when their children are sick. Riku continued to throw up into the new bucket what wasn't in his stomach; resulting in big heaving motions and tensing of muscles when he only projected a little bit of fluids.

This dry heaving hurt Riku's already sore body, and he rested his head on his mothers lap, "It hurts, momma," Riku sobbed, clutching his stomach.3

"I know, baby," She yawned a little, stroking Riku's hair, "You'll get better, I promise," May comforted her son, as he heaved again. Eventually they both fell asleep as Riku began to feel better.

In the morning, he woke to the sweet smell of pancakes and sausage. He followed the smell to the kitchen.

"Good morning, sweetie," Riku's mother greeted warmly, as if she hadn't lost a minute of sleep last night.

Riku smiled at the food, and grabbed a plate. He began loading it up, ignoring everyone in the room. He was still sick, and the room was spinning, but he hadn't eaten since before he got high.

"You look terrible," Said a teen from across the table. Riku looked up from his food, and blushed lightly, seeing Sora sitting at the other end of the table.

Riku muttered a whatever, and continued eating, "Break up with Kairi yet?" He asked, without looking up.

"Uh... I just came to see how you were doing..." Sora mumbled, blushing a bright pink at the memory of the kiss.

"If you haven't left her what are you doing here?" Riku eyed Sora angrily, and put his fork down. How could Sora show up here after leaving the way he did? Didn't he realize how much he hurt Riku? Did he come just to tell him he didn't want to speak to him again?

"I thought we could still be friends!" Sora stood up, waking over to Riku, "You're my best friend Riku, and I just wanted to know how you were after you just got out of the hospital..." He spoke gently, knowing Riku's head must hurt, and that he should talk quietly so he didn't hurt Riku's head.

Riku looked up at Sora, feeling tears come to his eyes. Of course he wanted to see Sora, but it was just too much at the time. He was still sick, and seeing Sora brought up the pain that drove him to taking drugs in the first place.

Riku looked back at his food and pushed it away, suddenly loosing his appetite. He didn't say anything to Sora, not sure what he should say or do. He wanted to hug Sora but he didn't want to make him leave again. And he wanted to say something but he was afraid of bursting out in tears or something. So he just got up and left.

"Poor boy..." Riku's mother said to Sora, "I know this is hard for you, darling, but Riku is Riku." She walked over to Sora, and patted his back. He came over so often, he was like a son to her, "Don't worry if he says something mean. He's sick, and not himself. I'm sure he's very happy for you and Kairi."

"Thanks..." Sora said, giving the woman a short hug, before leaving the house.

Riku climbed into the shower, trying to wash off all the sick. He felt a little better after the shower, but went back to his room, and slept the rest of the day. He woke up in the middle of the night, not throwing up anymore, but still weak and aching and dizzy. He looked over at the clock that read 11:30 pm.

Riku tried not to think of what Sora had said, but it consumed him. Sora was all he could ever think about and he did want to be his friend still. He told Sora how he felt, and he potentially didn't have to loose the friendship that he cherished so much. So why did it hurt whenever he thought of Sora?

* * *

Sora sighed and flopped on the bed. He let out a low moan as Kairi slid her hands into his pants, kissing him wildly. Kairi sat up on Sora's lap and lifted her shirt off.

"Kairi..." Sora said, beginning to get a little worried.

"Sora," Kairi moaned, licking Sora's ear. She pulled Sora's hands to her breasts and practically ripped the teen's shirt off.

"Kairi..." Sora whispered, hesitating at even touching Kairi.

"Ah, Sora," Kairi trailed kissed down Sora's chest and stomach. She fumbled with the buckle, but finally got Sora's pants down.

Kairi was about to take Sora's slightly hardened member into her mouth, when Sora scooted away, "Kairi, stop it!" he dejectedly said. He pulled his pants up and got his shirt.

"What the hell Sora?" Kairi shouted, "Am I not good enough for you?"

"No, Kai, that's not it and you know it," Sora sighed and pulled his shirt over his head.

"Then what the hell is it? Do you think I'm a slut because I'm not a virgin? Am I ugly or something? What's the matter?" She shouted, getting in his face.

"Kai, it's not that... You're beautiful," Sora smiled, trying to cheer Kairi up with compliments. Or at least get her off his back.

"What the fuck Sora?" Kairi slapped him.

_[i]Geez... I though guys got slapped for trying to get girls to sleep with them, not cause they wouldn't put out...[/i]_ Sora thought backing up, "I-I don't have a c-condom..." Sora fumbled for an excuse, as he looked around the room.

"I'm on the pill Sora, and I'd like a reason to be!" Kairi stepped closer to Sora, placing her hands on her hips in a very authoritative manner.

"I c-can't..." Sora blushed, looking away. Why did Kairi have to be [i]so[/i] emasculating? He wasn't a fag for wanting to not have sex!

"Why not?" She shouted, unhooking her bra and letting it fall to the floor. Sora suddenly noticed how interesting the color of Kairi's carpet was. "It's him." She whispered.

"It's not..."

"Ever since he said he loved you, you haven't touched me," Kairi whispered, "Well [i]_I[/i]_ love you. How's that? Will you fuck me now? How many fucking times do I have to say it!" she began shouting again.

She said lots of things about how Sora's turning gay, and any other guy would die to sleep with her, and he's the luckiest guy in school. Sora silently took this verbal abuse until he heard her say Riku's name.

"Don't talk about him like that!" Sora shouted, "Don't talk about Riku like that! Riku's a good friend and he'd do anything for me, and you just want to get in my pants!" Sora shouted, tears stinging his eyes, "Riku may want me more than you do but he cares about me enough to not do anything! So don't ever say anything about Riku again, bitch!"

Kairi gasped, and Sora covered his mouth, having realized what he'd just said.

"So it's true..." Kairi whispered, bending over to get a shirt, "You really are gay for him..." Kairi covered herself and sat on the bed.

"Kairi, it's not like that. He liked me, but w-we're just friends..." Sora explained, though he had to admit, it sounded fishy.

"Get out..." Kairi whispered. When Sora didn't budge, she shouted, "Get out!"

Sora picked up his jacket and left. He walked for a while not really thinking about where he was going. After about an hour of walking in the cold of night he looked at the front door he'd come to. Sora cocked his head to the side and wondered why he was at Riku's.

Sora walked over to the tree by Riku's room that they used to climb as little kids. He hoisted himself up on the branch and peered into the room. Glancing at his watch he saw that Riku's clock was an hour off. Sora smiled at fond memories of climbing trees, and pretending they were pirate ships, and noticed some stirring in the bed.

Sora watched Riku sit on the edge of the bed, and rest his elbows on his knees. Riku looked up at the ceiling and shook his head before covering his face with his hands. Sora heard faint sobs as it began to rain. Small droplets of water pelted Sora's nest of chocolate brown hair. He remembered a passage from a book he was supposed to read in English; "I used to not like jazz until I saw someone on a street corner in Seattle playing a saxophone. I stood for an hour and watched him play, the whole time with his eyes closed. Sometimes you have to see someone truly love something before you can love it yourself."4 As Sora watched RIku sob, utterly helpless he realized that maybe he had to watch Riku love him before he could love him back.

Sora watched Riku cry until Riku wiped his face and laid back down again. Sora, dying to talk to Riku, tapped on Riku's window lightly.

"Demyx is down stairs, Xigbar..." Riku said to the window, not looking up from his bed.

"Riku, it's me."

"Sora?" Riku asked, walking over to the window. He opened it to see said boy sitting on the nearby branch, "Sora, get in here you idiot, it's raining," Riku held out his hand for Sora, who took it and climbed into the room. Sora fumbled for words to say but ended up being silent.

"Uh... You must be cold, lemme get a towel..." Riku crept out of the room and came back with a white fluffy towel.

"Riku, I..." Sora began but still didn't know what to say. Riku smiled warmly, and tossed the towel on the boys head. Fearing he might get lost in it, he ruffled Sora's hair with the towel playfully and sat in front of him.

"What's up?" Riku smiled wider, showing his pearly white teeth, ecstatic to see Sora, like nothing had ever happened.

"Riku you can't expect me to not freak out after you say you love me!" Sora threw the towel aside and sat down, hugging his knees to his chest.

The silver haired teen frowned and looked away, "I know. It was too much to ask of you," Riku sighed.

"And I thought you were straight! I mean we always..." Sora searched Riku's face for something he didn't know was.

"I'm sorry for keeping it from you," Riku shook his head.

"And now Kairi's pissed at me cause of you."

"I don't really want you guys to break up."

"And I'm confused too..."

"I know it's my fault."

"And I don't know who I like anymore and what's going on and it's just too much!" Sora began to cry and Riku wished more than anything to scoop him up in his arms and make all his bad feelings and hurt go away. But he wasn't the one Sora wanted, so Riku apologized, and kept his distance.

* * *

1- I love children, and so does May. Too bad she won't get any grand-babies.... Maybe! Ha!

2- I decided on Pat because it's an androgynous name.

3-Riku is sad and in pain. He's sick and injured, and it's the middle of the night. You would call your mom that too. I think boys should be comfortable enough with their manliness to call their mothers momma.

4- I'm of course paraphrasing, cause I haven't read the book in like a year, but I thought it was good ^_^ (the book being, Blue Like Jazz by I don't remember who)

Again, hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you like, what you don't like, whatever.


	4. Chapter 4

What's Left Unsaid

Chapter 4- Kisses and Confessions

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or Advent Children

* * *

"Help me Riku..." Sora cried, grabbing Riku's hand, "I'm j-just... So confused..." Riku placed a hand on Sora's cheek briefly, but when he went to take it away, Sora held it there, "Don't be the guy who likes me now Riku, be my best friend and help me," Sora clutched Riku's hand as Riku wiped a tear away with his thumb.

"Sora..." Riku sighed, "I'm the same person. I'm your best friend who loves you, and you have to know that I'll always be here for you no matter what happens, because I love you..." Riku looked into Sora's deep blue eyes as he smiled slightly at hearing this, "But... I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be your boyfriend." Riku sighed again and pulled his hand away from Sora's face, "I love you and I don't care what else happens. Of course I want you to be happy, but I want you to be happy with me! I want you to be my boyfriend. Not my friend."

"Riku..." Sora looked at Riku in confusion and pulled away, leaning against the wall.

"I need you Sora..." Riku began to cry again and buried his face in his hands again, "But you'll never love me back, so just go," Riku stood and walked back to his bed crawling in it.

Sora didn't know why he didn't just leave, but came to the conclusion that he wanted to know that Riku would be okay, "Riku..." Sora started.

"Sora, just leave," Riku sighed, violently pulling the covers over his shoulder,

"Riku, if you're not too angry at me... I'll be your boyfriend just for tonight..." Sora offered, not looking up. It was all he could think of to make Riku feel better, and test out how he felt about him at the same time.

"Sora..." Riku sighed, sitting up and turning around, "Look at me," Sora looked up hesitantly, "Do I look like I'm angry?" Riku pointed to his face, stained with tears, more pale than usual, and a little sweaty, but still gorgeous as usual.

Sora smiled a little, and shook his head no. He walked up to the bed, and pulled his wet clothes off.

"Sora, I don't care if you get my bed wet," Riku smiled, hoping the teen would get in bed with him.

"I-I was gonna... Okay..." Sora sighed, glad Riku didn't ask for sex. He pulled the rest of his clothes off anyways, and crawled in next to Riku. Sora smiled at the feeling of Riku's arm around him. He looked up at Riku and gently kissed him on the lips. It was awkward to say the least, since Sora had only ever kissed girls. Riku's lips were really soft though, and when he kissed him, he could tell Riku wanted nothing more than to stay like this. When he pulled away Riku looked at him confusedly, "I'm yours tonight... It's okay if you kiss me," Sora smiled, stroking Riku's cheek as he held him.

"I love you, Sora," Riku smiled, tears of joy now streaming down his perfect cheeks as he kissed Sora tenderly.

When they pulled away, Sora laughed, and said, "What's wrong now?" as he wiped Riku's face.

"I just... Never thought this could happen," Riku smiled, absolutely giddy, despite being freezing cold but burning hot at the same time, and aching all over. Sora was in his arms, and in his bed, no less! He could suck it up, and enjoy his temporary boyfriend.

"Thanks for letting me sleep with you," Sora smiled, resting his head on Riku's shoulder.

Riku smiled, and lightly stroked Sora's hair. Riku kissed Sora's forehead, and moved a bit so he could see Sora's face. "Is it okay if I watch you sleep?" he asked, smiling softly.

Sora nodded. "Creepy stalker," he joked, kissing Riku for just a second.

"Fag," Riku joked back and kissed Sora romantically.

Sora pulled away and looked downward, "Sorry, for you know... calling you fag all those times..." Sora felt bad for teasing Riku about being gay without knowing. It's just what they did. He didn't really mean to insult his friend, and while he was sort of grossed out by it, he did love Riku.

Riku smiled and shook his head, kissing Sora again, this time moving to his neck, and collar bone area. Riku kissed down Sora's damp body, running his hands over his sides and chest, wanting to never forget how this feels. When Riku got to Sora's lower abdomen, he skipped his groin and kissed the boy's hip.

Sora let out a little squeal and Riku looked up, "Sorry, I know, no sex," Riku smiled crawling back up to hold Sora again.

"I-I was g-gonna say... Uh... um well..." Sora blushed.

"What?" Riku asked, rubbing Sora's side.

"I-I'm hard," Sora blurted out, and covered his face with a pillow.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Riku chuckled, trying to pry the pillow from Sora's hands.

"Sumehgeneguh," Sora mumbled from under the pillow.

"Sora I can't understand you," Riku decided on joining Sora under the pillow.

"Suck me?" Sora asked, covering his face with his hands. "You don't have to!"

"Seriously?" Riku asked, in shock. Surprised, but still, Riku didn't have to be told twice, before going down on Sora. Before touching him at all, Riku asked, "Are you sure?"

Riku beamed, as Sora nodded furiously. Riku began stroking Sora's cock gently and asked, "Sorry, babe, I couldn't quite hear you, did you say 'suck' or 'fuck'?" Riku smiled, licking the back of Sora's member from the base to the tip.

"Riku!" Sora half moaned, half scolded.

"I'm just teasing you, love," Riku smiled and nipped the tip with his teeth gently. Sora moaned loudly and bucked his hips upward, forcing his member into Riku's mouth. Riku smirked as he took all of Sora in his mouth that he could. In all honesty, he was a lot bigger than Riku had imagined, but for that he was glad. He sucked harder and harder as he bobbed his head up and down, rubbing with his hand what he couldn't fit in his mouth. Sora's hips began to thrust a little more, as Sora entangled his fingers in Riku's perfect silver locks. He clenched and un-clenched, begging Riku for more.

"Riku..." Sora moaned a little too loudly, as he came. Riku smiled and sucked all of Sora's essence into his mouth and drank every drop. Once Riku was finished he crawled back up, and cradled the recovering boy in his arms.

"Ah Riku!" Sora sighed contently after his breathing had returned to normal.

"Enjoy that?" Riku chuckled lightly and squeezed Sora gently. Sora smiled and nodded furiously. "I'm glad," Riku smiled and kissed Sora gently.

"R-riku... I'm not gay... I-I just..." Sora sighed and looked away, but didn't fight Riku's embrace. He didn't think it should count if he was the one getting blown. And he wasn't even thinking of guys when he was hard! Riku was just making him feel good! That didn't count, did it?

"I get it, you're bi, there's nothing wrong with that," Riku smiled.

"No, Riku, I'm straight," Sora frowned and scooted away a little.

Figuring Sora was just in denial, Riku just nodded and scooted closer to Sora, "Okay whatever, man, you're straight," Riku took Sora in his arms again.

"Riku, this is too much..." Sora tried to push Riku away. He couldn't handle this. He was just confused, and this was making it worse. He should have never said he'd be Riku's boyfriend for the night.

"What!" Riku half shouted, "Y-you said we could be together tonight!" Riku frowned, pulling Sora close, hoping they'd fuse together. "Y-you said!"

"Riku, I... can't... I have a girlfriend... this is just..." Sora stuttered, trying in vain to push him away.

"But, I...! Y-you said we could be...! Sora, please!" Riku began to tear up, and squeezed Sora tighter than he'd realized.

"Riku, don't! Stop it, you're hurting me!" Sora groaned, and shoved Riku off him, falling off the bed.

"Sora! I'm sorry, here," Riku held out his hand and urged Sora to get up.

"Sorry... I just..." Sora sighed and took his hand, standing up, so his crotch was now in Riku's face again, "Sorry..." Sora covered himself and walked backwards, looking for his clothes.

"Here, let me get you some..." Riku got up and searched Demyx's dresser for some pajamas, "I think you and Demyx are the same size..." Riku scratched the back of his head and handed Sora some sleep pants and a big tee shirt.

"Thanks," Sora mumbled. Once he dressed, he sat on Demyx's bed, looking over to Riku, who sat on his own bed. He watched Riku smile, and try to keep from crying. Like he'd cried earlier...

"I'm sorry, Sora, I won't do anything else..."Riku apologized, "Demyx isn't here, so you can sleep in his bed," Riku laid down and pulled the covers over him, once again. He felt tears coming, and he tried his damnedest to keep them in. He'd already cried a lot, and felt pathetic because of it.

"Riku..." Sora sighed, climbing into Riku's bed, "I'm sorry for freaking out, I was scared..." He laid down beside Riku, and stroked his arm softly.

"I should be apologizing," Riku said, not turning to face Sora, "I asked too much of you too soon," Riku sighed. "I should have just let you go when you wanted to."

"No, Riku, it's not that much to be yours for one night, and you're being so nice to me!" Sora rubbed Riku's shoulder, "You're the best boy-" Sora coughed, "The best friend I could ever ask for..."

Riku rolled over, a stuffed pig covering his face, "Commodore Pigglesworth III says don't feel bad, Sowa! Wiku wuvs you!"1

Sora laughed and kissed the pig, making a loud smooching noise, "He wuvs me, huh?"

Riku put the pig down and stroked Sora's face, "Yeah, he wuvs you..." he whispered, putting an arm around Sora.

"Sowa wuvs Wiku too," Sora whispered and hugged Riku tightly.

Riku sighed and looked away, "I know..." He mumbled dejectedly.

"What's wrong, Riku?" Sora asked, "I said, I love you!" Sora touched his hand to Riku's cheek. He did love Riku as a friend, and he thought Riku would be happy to hear it.

"But only as a friend," Riku sighed, holding Sora's hand on his face, "I'm only a friend to you... But I can't complain. You've been so good to me tonight," He began to tear up, "I must sound so greedy... It's not that I want more from you... just... more of you... I want more of you, Sora..." Riku looked at Sora and smiled weakly, "I want you to be mine forever!"

"Riku, I have a girlfriend... I... love her..." Sora hesitated at saying he loved Kairi, not because he didn't want to tell Riku, but because he wasn't so sure he did love her anymore. That was an entirely different issue though.

"I know, and I support that. I'll help you pick out an engagement ring, and I'll be your best man at your wedding, I'll be there when you become a dad, and I'll even babysit your kids so you two can be alone together... I'll watch you and Kairi grow old together, as long as it means watching you." Riku said, on the verge of crying now.

"Riku..." Sora sighed and pushed some of Riku's bangs from his face, touching his cheek gently, "Go to sleep, you drama queen." Sora kissed Riku's forehead and closed his eyes.

"I love you so much, Sora," Riku kissed Sora on the lips, and kissed him harder when the boy tried to pull away.

"Stop," Sora whispered into the kiss, "I don't want this."

"Sorry..." Riku pulled away, but still held Sora.

"It's okay," Sora smiled and gave Riku a small peck on the lips.

"Good night, love," Riku smiled, and squeezed Sora momentarily.

"Good night, sweetie," Sora yawned a little and soon fell asleep.

"Oh, Sora...." Riku sighed, watching Sora sleep before falling asleep, himself.

* * *

Riku awoke, alone in his bed and sighed, "Was it a dream?" He wondered out loud, "It seemed so real...."

"Riku! Come on, your mom makes the best chocolate chip waffles!" Sora leaned in the room, still in the pajamas.

"You're still here?" Riku asked, half asleep as he rolled over.

"I figured I could let my clothes dry before I left," Sora came over to the bed and pulled the covers off the sleepy teen. "Get up, lazy!" Sora smiled, "If you get up in 3 seconds I'll let you kiss me," Sora winked, putting his hands on his hips.

Riku grumbled and jumped out of the bed, wrapping his arms around the boy, "Maybe telling you wasn't such a great idea," Riku joked, kissing Sora tenderly.

"Uh, alright, come on..." Sora muttered, pulling away a little from Riku.

Riku kissed Sora's cheek, "Aww, Sora," Riku kissed his neck, "You're not even gonna help me with my morning wood?" he kissed Sora's bottom lip, "Don't look so scared, baby," Riku laughed, not bothering to pull a shirt on before going to the kitchen to eat, leaving a blushing Sora in his room.

"Riku why is Sora wearing my clothes?" Demyx asked, sitting next to a strange boy Riku had never seen before.

"His were wet, who's this?" Riku asked, barely bothering to answer his brother's question.

"Zexion!" Demyx smiled childishly, and kissed the other kid on the cheek.

"What kinda 15 year old reads at breakfast?" Riku asked placing his hands on his hips, as he walked over to the new teen. He wasn't sure he liked this kid. Especially since Demyx was hanging over him, and not at all upset about Xigbar anymore. He was glad Demyx was happy, but how could he get over Xigbar so quickly? Maybe it was just an act for their mother... He'd have to talk to Demyx later.

"I do," Zexion mumbled apathetically, as he turned a page in his book.

"Demyx you need a better boyfriend," Riku sat down next to the kid and loaded his plate with waffles. He was so hungry, having not eaten in so long, and anything sounded delicious - having his mom make waffles was just amazing.

Zexion blushed, "We aren't boyfriends..."

"How could you say that after last night??" Demyx exclaimed.

"Heh, looks like you're stuck with my baby brother now kid," Riku smiled at the young teen, "Get used to it." Hopefully making Zexion regret it would be enough to stop this nonsense.

"What about you, Riku? I heard moaning last night!" Demyx smiled and punched Riku in the arm, from across the table. He giggled happily, surprising Riku with the fact that he was happy again.

"That's different..." Riku looked away as Sora sat next to him. He'd have to talk about that to Demyx later too.

"Judging from the tone and duration of the moans, and the time at night, you two did something sexual, which usually implies a long term relationship unless one person is a slut," Zexion said emotionlessly.

"Sora's not a slut!" Riku said, almost yelling at the boy next to his brother.

"Riku did you get some last night?!" Demyx asked, excitedly leaning forward, expecting to get all the details right then.

"All right. Sora isn't a slut." Zexion said, ignoring Demyx except for an arm around his waist to pacify him.

The rest of the boys stared wide eyed at Zexion after he called Riku a skank. It was obvious that he didn't know about Riku, and he couldn't be expected to.

"What?" he asked, looking to Demyx, confused. Demyx frowned and gave Riku an apologetic look. Sora glared at Zexion, and Riku just stared at his lap awkwardly. He knew he slept around a bit too much, but that was just a phase that was really coming to an end. And a lot of his attitude about sex was because of his dad. Demyx and Sora knew this, but Zexion didn't.

Sora was the first to say something to Zexion. "You shouldn't say things about people you don't know..."

"It's okay." Riku laughed it off, and ate, even though he didn't have an appetite anymore. The rest of the meal was filled with an awkward silence and embarrassment. Sora was embarrassed at having said something at all, Riku for being himself, Demyx for bringing home a boy that would call Riku a slut, and Zexion for having said something that he shouldn't have, and not knowing about it. When they'd finished eating, they brought the dishes to the sink and thanked May.

"I should go now..." Sora mumbled to Riku, still a little ashamed.

"Yeah, come on," Riku smiled, bringing him to the laundry room. He pulled out Sora's clothes from the dryer, and handed them to Sora. "I um... I guess that Zexion kid was kinda right." Sora opened his mouth to protest, but Riku cut him off, "No, I did sleep around a lot. It's a miracle that I didn't get an STD or something... I just wanted to make sex into something that wasn't special so it didn't feel like my dad..."

Seeing Riku that depressed, Sora gave him a hug. "I know, Riku. It's okay," Sora kissed Riku's cheek, and let go of him to put clothes on. "Thanks, Riku." Sora smiled at the boy before continuing, "For being so patient with me, I mean. It can't be easy to have a crush on someone that..."

"No, Sora, it's not a crush - I love you. Sora, I love everything about you... The way you look, the way you move, the way you talk..." Riku reached out and touched a hand to Sora's cheek, "The way you love everybody so much, and don't care about my past," Sora blushed a deep crimson and looked away, "How you can eat all the time and stay thin... You're so beautiful, Sora," Riku smiled, wishing he could scoop Sora into his arms, and kiss him for ever.

"Beautiful?" Sora whispered, stepping back a little. Riku was starting to scare him a little with his obsessing.

"Do I have to spell it out for you, Sora?" Riku chuckled, "I love the way you look.... The way your hips move when you walk, and how you blush when people talk about you, and your perfect skin, and the way you're hair always sticks up no matter what you do to it, and how when you smile you get these cute little dimples in your cheeks, and how even just rolling out of bed you still look gorgeous, and how you have the best smile that makes me want to faint every time I see it.. and your eyes..." Riku smiled and stepped closer to Sora, "Oh god, I love your eyes, Sora..." Riku smiled and held Sora's chin. He looked deep into Sora's cerulean blue eyes and couldn't help but smile as his heart swelled inside his chest.

"Riku..." Sora looked back at him, horrified, "I don't like it when you're like this... It scares me!" Sora covered his face and darted out of the room. He hated this new Riku! He wanted his best friend back!

Riku sighed and sat on the floor in the hall. He pulled his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. He hated the feeling he got when Sora left. He didn't realize he was scaring Sora just by telling him what he liked about him.

"Riku..." Demyx said, coughing softly to get hie brother's attention. "Zexion and I..."

Riku sighed, and stood up, "Why are you doing this?" he asked, gesturing to Zexion, "Is he a rebound, or something? Are you trying to get mom to believe you're over Xigbar?"

"What does he mean by 'rebound'?" Zexion asked.

"N-nothing!" Demyx shouted, placing his hands on Zexion's chest. Zexion took Demyx's hands in his own, but still turned to Riku and repeated, "What do you mean 'rebound'?"

Riku smirked and said, "Demyx hasn't told you, has he?"

"Told me what?" the slate haired teen asked Demyx, "What haven't you told me?" Obviously, Riku was trying to drive Zexion away, but again, it was for Demyx's own good.

"O-oh, it's nothing! It's a big long boring story, you don't want to hear it!" Demyx smiled and kissed Zexion on the lips for a second, hoping he'd forget his question.

"You call Xigbar nothing? He'd be sad if he could see you now, Dem," Riku retorted, pulling Zexion away from his brother again.

"Riku! Shut up!" Demyx gestured for Riku to leave the room.

"Who's Xigbar?" Zexion asked a little angry now, but turned to Riku, as he'd been the only one answering questions.

"Riku, please! Don't!" Demyx ran between them, but Riku persisted.

"Xigbar was Demyx's boyfriend oh about a day and a half ago," Riku smiled, stepping around Demyx, "The one who was like 25? Demyx seems to have quite a thing for older men."

"Dem," Zexion turned calmly to Demyx, "Is this true? When did you break up with your last boyfriend?" Riku frowned, as the emo teen seemed to be unfazed.

"Uh well I didn't break up with him... It was sorta the other way around... And it was like two days ago....?" Demyx covered his face, not wanting the other to see him, since he was afraid Zexion would get angry.

"But you're over him now, right?" Zexion asked, pulling Demyx's hands away.

"Of course I am!" Demyx smiled and wrapped his arms around Zexion's neck.

"And you're all mine now, right?" Zexion cracked a smirk, and held Demyx around his waist. Demyx nodded furiously, and Zexion kissed him gently. "Demyx, you're being a little cute now," Zexion smiled ever so slightly as Demx's blush. Demyx beamed and let Zexion kissed him passionately.

Disgusted Riku left the room to go mope elsewhere.

* * *

1- XD I love the pig. He will definitely be showing up in future chapters!

I'm not happy about that last scene. I'm not sure how to do it better though. It gave me lots of trouble. Anyways. Review. Let me know what you did and didn't like, what I should work on, or whatever.


	5. Chapter 5

What's Left Unsaid

Chapter 5- WARNING: Garlic Salt may Cause Weird Dreams!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or Advent Children, or Star Wars, or the Kodak company

This chapter is more about Sora than Riku in the beginning. There's a surprise towards the end. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Sora flopped onto his bed and sighed sadly. He rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling, reaching up to touch his lips. They still tingled from when Riku kissed him in the hospital. Maybe it was Kairi who's the reason they've been tingling ever since then... Except it hadn't been like that since Riku had told him that he...

Sora sighed again and rolled over, off the bed on accident, "Ow..." Sora groaned and went to go take a shower. He thought about what Riku said right before he left. Especially how Riku looked at him when he talked about him. Riku always talked to Sora with love and the way he touched him- Oh God the way Riku touched him!

Sora looked down as he undressed and mumbled something angrily, having realized he had a certain problem. Once in the shower, he tried to take care of said problem, but found it hard to get off thinking about Kairi. Even after he'd seen her topless. He looked down and thought he saw Riku looking up at him with half his member in his mouth.

Semen splattered over the walls of the shower, as Sora lightly moaned Riku's name, "Dammit..." Sora mumbled, finishing up in the shower. Sora grinned a little as he climbed out of the shower, remembering the night before. Especially that blow job. How Riku touched him with love, rather than lust, even when he was doing something sexual. Like he was telling him he loved him by touching, rather than talking.

"Sora! Phone for you!" Sora's mom shouted.

"I got it!" Sora shouted back as he picked up the phone in his room, "Hello?"

_"Hey big brother!" _Roxas' unusually happy voice filled the ear piece of the phone.

"Hey Roxas what's up?" Sora smiled, greeting the younger twin. Only by four minutes and twenty two seconds, but Roxas still insisted on calling him 'big brother'.

_"I'm having a friend over!"_

"Okay, so?" Sora laughed at Roxas' bubbliness since he usually wasn't like that.

_"You're sleeping on the couch tonight!_" Roxas exclaimed.

Sora grumbled and heard talking in the background.

_"We getting a room to ourselves tonight?" said someone who sounded a lot like an older man._

_"Yes, Axel, shut up! I'm on the phone!" _That was undeniably Roxas' voice.

_"Did you tell your brother yet?"_

_"I'm gonna tell him when we get there..."_

_"He's your twin! I can't believe you haven't told him yet!"_

_"I'm gonna tell him!"_

_"Whatever. Come'ere baby!"_

_"Axel!" _a slight giggle, _"stop! I'm on the phone!"_

"Roxas, who's there?" Sora asked, utterly confused.

_"Uhhh..._" Roxas struggled for an answer.

"Roxas tell me what's going on!" Sora demanded, stomping his foot on the carpet of his floor.

_"Uh... I will when I get there!"_ Roxas shouted into the phone, right before hanging up.

Sora groaned and went into the kitchen to get some food. He decided on a bagel with garlic salt. Popping the bagel into the toaster, Sora pulled out the butter and garlic salt, because he hated spreading cold and hard butter onto a toasted bagel, and the garlic salt was right there. Angry at being so confused about things that seemed so simple, he stared down the toaster.

"Why are you being so slow!" Sora shouted, hitting the toaster with such force, his toasty treat popped out in his face. Sora stumbled back and leaned against the wall, angrily gripping the toasted bagel, "You are a dumb piece of bread that wishes it was a doughnut! And you know what? I wish you were too!"

Sora's mother gave him a strange look. Sora buttered his bagel and shook a generous amount of garlic salt onto it. _Riku why do you drive me to insanity? I love you as a best friend... I think... But I love Kairi like a girlfriend..._ Sora sighed, _It'd be just too weird to go out with a guy anyways... Ugh, that's so gross, I can't believe he's gay!_ Sora ate his bagel that wished it was a doughnut with garlic salt and warm ish butter. Not two minutes after he finished eating, he heard Roxas shout, "Sora! I'm home!" from the front door.

"Hey, Roxas," Sora plastered a fake smile on his face, and couldn't help but remember what Riku had said about his smile. _Makes him want to faint, huh? _Sora gave his brother a hug, but stopped, seeing a much older teen behind them, "Is this your friend?" Sora asked. He stared at the older guy, dressed in tight black clothes with big red spikey hair and emerald eyes.

"Um, that's what I need to talk to you about..." Roxas blushed a little, and dragged him to their room. "Wait in the hall." he told the man, and pulled Sora into their room, closing the door.

"So what's up?" Sora asked, starting to get a little scared. What if something was wrong with Roxas?

"Well um... The thing is... Sora, I'm gay," Roxas blurted out and blushed a little.

"Y-you?" Sora sat on the floor, dumbfounded. He didn't know what to do or say about it. He was just like Riku! Things were getting mixed up, and he was the only normal one in the world!

"It's not a big deal right? I mean, love is love so it doesn't matter who I'm attracted to... Right, Sora?" Roxas smiled and joined his brother on the floor.

"I-I don't get it...." Sora was still in shock, "S-so that guy was your...."

"Boyfriend," Roxas smiled, putting a hand on Sora's shoulder

Sora looked at his brother, disgusted, "Get away from me you freak!" Sora shouted, jumping up, and running out of the room. He ran past the red head and plopped on the couch. He needed a sugar fix now, but he didn't want to get up and get it.

"Sora, what's wrong, honey?" His mother asked, rubbing his back as Sora lay face down on the couch.

"Everyone around me is gay!" Sora shouted. He was the kind of teen that told his mother everything, except for the fact that Riku had kissed him. He hadn't gotten around to telling her that yet.

"You mean Roxas," She smiled and shook her head.

"You mean you're not surprised?"

"I'm your mother baby," She kissed him on the head, "I know everything about you boys."

"You mean you knew?!" Sora shouted.

"Of course I knew!" She smiled and hugged her oldest son.

After a while, Sora asked, "Mom, you don't think I'm gay... Do you?"

She smiled, "Do you think you are?" Sora rolled his eyes at the woman and sighed dramatically.

"No! Of course not!"

"Are you sure?"

"No..." Sora sighed and looked away, "Riku kissed me and it seems ever since then I don't even know which way is up!"

"I knew he liked you!" Sora's mom smiled and patted Sora's head. "May told me Riku never shut up about you, and that she was positive he liked you. Oh, that's so good, honey!"

"He says he loves me and that I'm gorgeous and I eat a lot!" Sora pouted, "And that I make him want to faint or something dumb and faggish like that..." Sora mumbled.

"Now honey..." Sora's mom always began with that when she was about to rationalize something, "Riku may not love you as deeply as he claims, but I've seen the way he looks at you. And 'faggish' isn't a word. Watch your language, young man!"

"But mom Roxas is..." Sora sighed, "He's not normal either..."

"Sora," She sighed, "Roxas is in love, and there's nothing wrong with that. You love Kairi, right?" Sora nodded, lying though, as he was pretty sure he wasn't in love with Kairi anymore, "Would you love her even if she wasn't a girl?" Sora sighed again and looked away, neither affirming, nor denying the truth that when he was in love with her, he wouldn't have cared.

"Now," Sora's mother kissed him on the forehead, "Go apologize to your brother," She smiled and left to the kitchen to make dinner. Sora breathed deeply and walked over to the room he shared with his brother. He could hear crying from inside the room, and pressed his ear to the door that was left open a crack.

"He's my brother, Axel!" Roxas sobbed. Sora felt terrible. He hadn't seen Roxas cry since they were children.

"Don't worry, Roxas, you just came out," his boyfriend comforted, "That takes a lot of courage. I'm proud of you."

"He probably hates me now!" Sora peeked around the corner and saw Roxas sitting in his boyfriend's lap, crying into his chest.

"He's just freaked out, don't worry about it. He'll get over it eventually." Axel kissed Roxas' head, and wiped his face.

"He's right, I am a freak!" Roxas covered his face with his hands and Axel held him tight.

"No you aren't, Roxas. Look at me," Axel pulled Roxas' face up by the chin to look him in the face, "You are not a freak," Axel kissed Roxas on the lips gently and Sora couldn't help but smile slightly. He was undeniably happy for his brother. If Roxas was happy, then Sora really couldn't complain about this.

Sora coughed and knocked on the door, "Um, can I come in?" Sora asked, kneeling next to the teens on the floor. Roxas nodded and wrapped his arms around Axel.

"Maybe I should go..." Axel suggested, making to get up, but Roxas clung to him, silently begging him to stay.

"You can stay, if Roxas wants," Sora glanced up at Axel, and looked back to Roxas. "I'm sorry for calling you a freak." Sora scooted closer to his twin, "I was being dumb and I didn't mean it."

Roxas nodded and lunged at Sora with a hug, "I should have told you sooner," Roxas began to tear up again. "I was scared you'd hate me forever if you found out!

"Oh Roxas!" Sora smiled and wiped the tears from Roxas' face, "I love you baby brother! Nothing will change that!" Sora smiled and hugged Roxas again.

"I love you too big brother!" Roxas smiled and sat back down between his brother and his boyfriend.

"So who is this?" Sora asked, looking back at Axel. Come to think of it, this guy looked pretty old...

"I'm Axel, Roxas' boyfriend. got it memorized?" Axel smirked holding out his hand for Sora to shake it.

Sora laughed a little an shook the guy's hand, "I'm Sora. How old are you?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nineteen," Axel smiled sheepishly.

"Oh God, Roxas, you too?!" Sora shouted, "That is so incredibly illegal!" Sora crossed his arms over his chest. "Older guys are just trouble! Riku's brother, Demyx, well he was dating a guy that was older too, and the guy broke it off as soon as they told Riku's mom! Demyx was hysterical, and then he rebounded on some freaky emo guy!"

"It's only three years, Sora..." Roxas blushed and looked away, as he sat on Axel's lap.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna rape your innocent little baby brother," Axel smiled and wrapped his arms around Roxas' waist and kissed him on the neck.

"What is it with you old guys and innocent little boys..." Sora sighed and left the couple alone.

"So did anything interesting happen today?" Sora's dad, asked.

"Roxas finally came out," Sora's mother, Lyn, explained.

"So is this his boyfriend?" The man asked calmly as he stopped eating for a moment to look up at the man.

"Yes, this is Axel," Roxas smiled, holding the man's hand under the table.

"How old is Axel?" Their dad eyed Axel, a little annoyed.

"Um... just nineteen, sir," Axel spoke up, trying to not avoid eye contact, as that usually meant someone was up to something. He wasn't up to anything. He wanted to be sure Roxas' dad knew that.

"Take advantage of my youngest son, and you won't die, but you will suffer," He stated simply, "I work for the CIA so don't think I'll hesitate in slaughtering your sorry ass if you ever do. And you'll get visits from the government every once in a while, too, now that we've met and your an adult."

Axel nodded, unfazed by the mans threat, though he'd be sweating bullets if he couldn't control himself as well as he could. He continued eating, trying to impress Roxas' dad. Sora wondered why he'd do that. If Riku ever got the chance, would he come over and try to impress his dad?

"And I want a legal consent form filled out before you go over to his place, is that understood young man?" The man eyed Roxas who nodded and they all went back to eating as if everything was normal.

"So how did you two meet?" Lyn asked in her usual bubbly voice. If one couldn't already tell, Sora took after his mother, and Roxas usually took after his dad. Roxas was just unusually happy lately.

"I was with Hayner, Pence and Olette at the arcade where he works," Roxas began giggling, "And he asked me out..."

"I'm sure you can guess from there how it went," Axel smiled placing an arm around Roxas' shoulders. Soon enough, dinner was done and Axel was playing the sweet boyfriend card by helping Lyn with the dishes while Roxas and Sora hung out in their room.

"Roxas, I have to admit, you really scored with Axel," Sora smiled as they sat on Roxas' bed.

"I know, isn't he the best? He's so sweet, and generous. And he has a good sense of humor." Roxas beamed and laid back on his bed, mimicking Sora's position. "But don't tell him I said that!"

"Yeah. I wouldn't say the best though..." Sora smiled, as Riku suddenly came to mind.

"But you haven't seen him nekkid!" Roxas rolled over, propping himself up with one elbow.

"Roxas!" Sora shouted, laughing a little, "I don't want to see that!"

"Heh, sorry, I forgot you're straight." Roxas laid down again, putting a disgusted emphasis on the word 'straight'. "Weirdo."

"Whatever, dude," Sora smiled and punched his brother playfully in the arm.

"Hey baby," Axel smiled walking into the room, and kissed Roxas on the lips. Was it really necessary for him to do that in front of Sora?

"Hi!" Roxas smiled, blushing a little as Axel pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Psh... You guys are weird..." Sora scoffed and took his pillow and blanket and walked over to the door, "Axel you can sleep in my bed if you want."

"Why would I sleep in your bed Sora?" Axel smiled and grabbed Roxas' waist, kissing his neck softly.

"Ew! I didn't need to know that!" Sora shouted, slamming the door and running to the living room.

"Know what?" Sora's mom asked, as she finished up cleaning the kitchen.

"Axel and Roxas' planned activities for tonight!" Sora shouted, blushing madly as he plopped on the couch.

"Well it's about time!" She smiled placing her hands on her hips, "You boys are more innocent than puppies with their eyes closed! You're both sixteen now, it's time you became sexually active! ... But don't tell your father I said that!"

"Ew mom!" Sora covered his face an hid under his blanket. It had pigs on them, which reminded him of Riku's pig, "Heh, Commodore Pigglesworth III..."

"What are you talking about?" She laughed, walking back to her room.

_Wiku wuvs me..._ Sora thought, "Nothing, I'm gonna sleep now, goodnight mommy!" Sora sighed and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

_**

* * *

"That's right. He wuvs you!" Riku smiled at Sora and embraced him. All of their worries faded away into the darkness of night and it was just them. Riku stroked Sora's face and Sora leaned into his touch.**_

_**"I love you Sora. You're beautiful." Riku ran his fingers through Sora's hair as Sora rested his head on his chest.**_

_**"I don't know anymore Riku... Be my best friend and help me!" Sora shouted into the material of Riku's shirt.**_

_**"Love me Sora," Riku smiled and stroked the younger teen's side, "Search your feelings. You know it to be true." he said, quoting Darth Vader, which wasn't so reassuring.**_

_**"But I'm afraid Riku." Sora looked up at his best friend.**_

_**"What's there to be afraid of? Everyone supports you no matter what you choose," Riku smiled and Sora sat up to kiss him. Sora's lips against Riku's. Such a simple movement and touching of skin, but it seemed as if their hearts were touching. Embracing each other, lovingly. **_

_**He loves me....**_

_**Riku kissed Sora's forehead and held his hand out for Sora to grab it. A giant wave swept over Sora as he desperately groped for Riku's hand. **_

_**I need him! **_

_**Sora gabbed Riku's hand at last. Riku smiled and easily hoisted Sora up onto the branch of their favorite Poapu tree and kissed him. Their whole bodies connected by a brushing of lips, as the very fabric of their beings meshed together.**_

_**But I'm not gay!**_

_**Sora took a bite out of an ice cream bar and tasted something that wasn't sea salt ice cream. He looked down and saw Riku biting the other end of the paopu fruit in his mouth.**_

_**Together forever?**_

_**Sora smiled and walked into the secret place and saw the picture of him and Kairi on the wall. He scratched it out and saw a crab crawl by behind him. It walked sideways and, and pinched Kairi's ankle.**_

_**"You're gay for him." She said. Sora blinked and she was gone. He smiled.**_

_**I love him too...?**_

* * *

Sora sat up and looked at the clock. 7:02 am. He needed to get to school... As much as Sora wanted to go and confess to his love, he had to go to school. He'd just have to do it at school in 5th period. English was the only class they had together. They didn't even have the same lunch, but Sora could wait... Not all day, but he could wait until 5th period.

However, thinking about it all day long, Sora had more time to doubt he actually loved Riku. Was it really worth throwing away a relationship that he was already in to test something out he came up with in a dream? Sure he enjoyed kissing Riku, but he enjoyed kissing in general. What if he couldn't be a good boyfriend for Riku? There were too many ifs for Sora to be comfortable with this...

Riku sat in his classes, a little depressed. He wasn't quite sure what Sora expected him to be like, maybe that he should have gotten it out of his system or something. Riku really didn't know how to face Sora after what he'd said to him the day before. 5th period was going to be hell.

Riku dragged himself to school, getting a ride from the stupid emo kid. He usually took the triplets' van, but that was taken by the cops. Zexion had spent the weekend fucking his brother anyways, he may as well drive them to school.

Riku trudged through his first few classes, doing the bare minimum. He finally found himself at lunch, and sat alone in the lunch room. He usually spent his lunches with Demyx, but his brother was preoccupied with a certain slate haired kid. Riku stood up and disposed of his school-prepared non-food properly and reclaimed his position at the lonely table.

"You look pretty down," a low and masculine, rarely heard voice drifted into Riku's ears. Riku turned around startled and saw Cloud smiling back at him. This action alone was enough to make Riku scared shitless. The fact that he was smiling made Riku think maybe he was sick.

"I'm fine, something up, Cloud?" Riku wondered out loud, feeling Cloud's head for a fever. If he was sick, Riku didn't want to get too close to him. Happiness didn't usually indicate a disease of some sort, but Cloud usually looked grumpy. Riku was afraid the world may be ending.

"No... Just happy to see you," Cloud said in this apathetic, but warm tone, that just didn't seem to fit. And since when was Cloud ever _happy_?!

"Cloud, you're acting pretty weird.... Are you sure you're okay?"

"Quite the contrary," Cloud replied, actually smiling as he grabbed Riku's hands. Willing physical contact? Something was seriously wrong with this teen. Riku's jaw dropped as a silver eyebrow raised suspiciously. "You see, Riku... The thing is, I haven't been talking to you recently, cause well..." Hm, not talking? That seemed pretty typical Cloud... "I like you... A lot..."

"Uh... what, now?" Riku questioned, stepping back a little. He hadn't thought of dating anyone but Sora lately, and even if he had thought of anything of that sort, it was Demyx's love life.

"I like you, Riku," Cloud moved to touch Riku's face, and quite frankly, Riku didn't fight it because he was too petrified to move. Cloud was being affectionate, and... Soft!

"L-like me... as in like a friend, right?" was all he manage to rasp out. Someone actually liked him? This wasn't necessarily a first, but it just seemed new since the whole Sora thing.

"You know what I mean, Riku," Cloud said sternly, before capturing Riku's pink lips in a gentle kiss. When he pulled away, RIku noted a light blush marred Clouds face in a way that really didn't suit him. Though his stern voice did comfort him a little.

"Cloud, I... Wha... You just..." Riku stammered, searching his brain for something to say, but half sentences and non words were the only thing it seemed to pull out.

"Riku, I would like you to be my boyfriend," Cloud said, more of an order, than a request. This too made Riku feel better. Not because he liked that sort of authoritative manly guy as a boyfriend, but more because it was more like Cloud.

"Uh, Cloud... Well I...." Riku felt his face burning up and he knew he was blushing. Though come to think of it, Riku wouldn't mind dating Cloud. It would really help him get over Sora, and he'd be making someone else happy in the process.

"Riku, I know this sounds bad, but I don't care what you have to say. I need you to be my boyfriend," Cloud's blush lessened, and he frowned, appearing more serious as usual. It was almost endearing the way he had to compensate for his totally girly name by being extra assertive.

"N-no, it doesn't... sound bad. I understand," Riku said, letting Cloud sit down with him.

"Please Riku,"Cloud said in this pathetically apathetic voice, as he reached for Riku's hand. Riku sighed softly and nodded. _It's obvious I can never be with Sora... Cloud is a good friend, so I should do him a favor_...

Cloud broke out in a beaming smile, and hugged Riku again, "Thank you so much Riku," Cloud whispered, before kissing him again. It took all of Riku's self control to not shove Cloud away and run to Sora. He didn't. He wanted to, but he didn't.

Riku weakly kissed back and could feel Cloud almost laugh into the kiss, at being so incredibly overjoyed, and in all honesty, he was happy for Cloud. The kid almost never even cracked a smirk, so he was glad to make Cloud so happy. He was sure he'd be sobbing if he was as happy as Cloud was now.

Cloud walked Riku to his next class, after the bell rang, "Come over to my place after school?" he asked, his arm loosely fitted around Riku's waist. Riku nodded in agreement, wishing only to get away from his brother's antics, if only for a day.

"Cool," Cloud said. Good. He was back to his normal self, save a slight smile on his face, and a lingering kiss to Riku's cheek.

Riku sighed for the millionth time that day, and flashed his new boyfriend the happiest smile he could muster. The smile faded however, when he saw Sora, who put on a fake smile for Riku.

"I saw you with Cloud! I had no idea he was like that too!" Sora chuckled a little and hugged Riku, "I guess big strong guys like you and Cloud are good at hiding it!" He honestly didn't know how else to react. He was sure Riku was just trying to get over him, but Cloud being one of his close friends, he didn't want to ruin something for him!

"Stop talking about it like being gay is a disease!" Riku retorted angrily, walking past his best friend. He hadn't meant to be rude, but he didn't know how to react to Sora being so happy for him being with someone else.

"Oh, come _on_ Riku! You know what I meant!" Sora smiled. He supposed Riku must've agreed to be with Cloud for a reason. "I just can't believe you two are together. I'm really happy for you." Sora realized Riku probably still loved him a lot, and that Cloud was more of a rebound, but they could have a good relationship together. Cloud would make a good boyfriend, and Riku had suffered too much. Sora wasn't about to ruin something that was good for Riku, for something he wasn't even sure about. "I knew you'd find someone," Sora smiled, saying this quieter than he'd been talking before, as he looked up and saw that they'd acquired an audience.

"I appreciate your support, but can you stop talking?," Riku whispered so only the two of them could hear. He was a bit fed up with Sora's chattering - he was still processing the fact that he was dating one of the most masculine guys in school. And a senior no less.

"Riku..." Sora sighed and left Riku alone, since that was what he wanted.

Riku sighed and walked away, to sit at his desk just before the bell. He took in a deep breath, thinking of that last exchange. The real reason Sora was so happy for him and Cloud was that he wouldn't have to worry about Riku hanging over his shoulder, and clinging to him like a lost puppy. He could be with Kairi and have normal sex, and get married normally, and have normal children who'd grow up to be normal.

When the class was over, Riku left. He didn't say good bye to Sora, didn't hug him. He didn't even look back at him. He walked to his last period, which he actually shared with Cloud, and sat next to his now boyfriend. "Hey." he said, putting on a smile for him.

Cloud of course greeted Riku with real enthusiasm. He held Riku's hand throughout the entire period, and Riku could tell Cloud was holding back. Riku didn't really care though - he'd been with much clingier people.

After school, Cloud had to talk to someone, and Riku went to go wait in front of the school. He tried to stay away from Sora and Kairi, but the brown haired boy just kept walking up to him. "Hey, Riku!" he said as he finally caught his friend.

"Hey, Sora." Riku smiled, "Didn't see you there," he added, explaining why he kept walking away from the other.

"Wanna hang out with me and Kairi? Cloud can come too!" the younger asked, smiling brightly. They were probably going to just get some sea-salt ice cream and hang out, but there was no reason they couldn't double date.

"Uh, Cloud and I were doing something else today..." Riku said, looking disappointed. He was sure Cloud didn't have any plans for them, but double dating with Sora and Kairi was the worst thing he could imagine.

"Cloud? You guys aren't dating! He's straight!" Kairi scoffed in disbelief. Though she was shown wrong, as Cloud walked up behind Riku, wrapping his arms around the younger.

"I'm straight?" Cloud asked, with a questioning look as he cocked his head to the side. Riku smirked as Kairi gave a disgusted look. She muttered 'faggot' under her breath as she dragged Sora away.

"Well maybe some other time?" He asked, and Riku nodded. With that Cloud took Riku to his motorcycle, fastened the helmet on him, and drove off to his place.

* * *

Well that's it for now. Hope you liked it. Again, review with comments, concerns, whatever.


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